funky
by Astromelia
Summary: On the whole, being mushroomized isn't that terrible. :jeff/tony:


LEAVE ME ALONE I WROTE THIS FOREVER AGO (JUST FINISHING IT TODAY) AND HOPE IT'S NOT THAT TERRIBLE

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"Jeff? Are you feeling alright?" Tony's worried gaze skimmed over the engineer's flailing limbs, sidestepping in a funky fashion. He would have stopped him from tripping over himself- several times in fact- but Jeff proved unable to be restrained in the way that he would blush uncontrollably, then force his way back out to see the "polka goats" outside the window. Thankfully, however, he was beginning to come to a stop, falling over Tony's legs to land on the bedspread below.

"I'm fiiiine," he drawled out, eyes glassy and unfocused under those crooked glasses. When he turned over a bit, mumbling something about the patterns on the ceiling, the redhead caught a glimpse of some sort of, well, extraordinarily coloured fungus, poking out of those ruffled tresses. He really should have known when that kid, Ness or somewhat, said he was "mushroomized" and went off to find someone who could rid him of it. "Why is the ceiling dancing?" laughed a bemused Jeff, much to Tony's befuddlement.

The still-standing boy frowned, "I'm afraid I don't know, old pal." This entire situation was just funky. He imagined that his friend, at least, enjoyed himself. "What in the world happened to your head?"

"We were in the forest, and then you were- you were- you were in front of me, and you were naked." Jeff snickered wildly, that deep cherry colour returning to his cheeks. "I think that was a dream though. Because you kissed me and everything was all purple."

Tony's eyes widened almost comically, hand flying up to a perpetually open mouth, though this time it was from shock; Jeff took notice and his laughter grew more raucous. There was no way the blond _knew_, was there? He, he was asleep, and it was dark and he just couldn't _resist_- Wait. He said he was... naked, right? ...Well, at least he could maybe convince his friend it was only a dream.

The engineer continued, "Yeah, it must have been a dream, because you were touching me all over. Are you going to touch me again?" He splayed over the mattress, stark-eagle, gazing tranquilly into the molding above the door. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to him, the ginger boy's blush looked a bit unhealthy. Jeff didn't mean to say that... he wanted him to do _that _kind of thing_, _did he? Oh goodness, oh _goodness..._ He let out an involuntary groan and his teeth clamped down hard on his hand. That Ness kid and that Paula girl never quite warned him of exactly what being mushroomized made someone do, did they?

"...Jeff?" Tony's voice was diminutive, hesitant. "Do you... do you _want_ me to touch y-you?" Now he stood at the side of the bed, looking down at Jeff's utterly blissful visage.

Jeff smiled and nodded, adding, "Yeah, since forever, but I never told you because you would hate me. Now I don't know, why are your hands so huge? Are you gonna hit me? That wouldn't be very nice." Before the redhead could protest, he grabbed hold of his tie, yanking him down to his level and subsequently making Tony tumble atop him in a tangle of limbs and hair. "What're you gonna do?" he whispered, breath horribly hot in Tony's ear, causing shivers to run down his spine like so many electric jolts.

His hands found their way to Jeff's hips, holding him down and rising from the depths of the wrinkled celadon jacket to kiss him, ignoring that this was his _best friend_, that he wasn't even in his right state of mind, and that he would most likely hate him when he came down to Earth. For now, however, he treated Jeff as if he were made of glass, fingers coming up to his jaw and shakily angling it closer. It only worsened the situation when the blond's arms slowly, ever so slowly curled around his shoulders, bringing his hands to rest at the base of his neck even while one still clutched at his clothing. He seemed almost to melt at the feather-light touch of the other boy's digits.

Tony's lips ghosted back over Jeff's as he pulled away, much to their mutual disappointment, though he would be damned if he showed it now of all times. "I d-don't think you want to do this," he piped with more than a hint of fear, prevented from rising further by the grip on his tie. That was when the engineer gave him the most licentious look he could muster, and tugged the two of them back together for an incredibly searing kiss that left Tony breathless before it even began. The other boy let go of his tie in favor of clinging in desperation to the redhead, accidentally letting a low moan escape his half-parted lips, and all he could think was how absolutely ravishing his friend looked beneath him.

Then Jeff spun about, nearly tumbling to the floor in a fit, but Tony took hold of his shoulders and hoisted him back up for another go. This, incidentally, would have gone fantastically in his favor if the door hadn't been flung open all of a sudden, revealing a horrified-looking Ness and Paula, with some half-bald fellow behind them. Of course, to them it looked as if he was mauling Jeff with his mouth, but that was to be expected; he hadn't had a lot of experience, after all- but Jeff seemed to enjoy it, anyway.

"J-Jeff?" Paula squeaked, a hand rising to her gaping mouth much as Tony's had just a few minutes ago. The shock of being interrupted in such an- Tony's ears burned terribly- intimate situation caused them both to plummet to the floor in a painful heap, the redhead below muttering little curses under his breath. Jeff looked utterly pleased with the entire affair, taking heed of the intruders in a state of hazy delight.

"Oh, hi Ness, Paula," he grinned, unabashed, "Didn't see you there." He curled up against a mortified Tony's chest.

"H-hi Jeff." Ness pointedly stared at his feet, fidgeting with his shirt. "So, um... we brought a healer here, if that's alright...?"

"Oh, sure, sure, but could you tell me why he's so skinny? Looks like he'll break any second," he giggled wildly, frightening his friends just a bit. Jeff staggered upwards with some help from the boy below him, both brushing off their outfits for dust, and the duo at the doorway got a good look at just how avid they were in their little tryst. Tony's hat had fallen off a long time ago along with the bottle-green coat, and Jeff had been stripped down to his shorts and half-buttoned jacket.

Ness made a little sound akin to "Oh, my," and ushered the healer forward who promptly did his job and cleanly plucked the mushroom from atop the blond tresses, then left in a bit of a hurry.

"So, ah." The English boy scratched nervously at his scalp, awaiting his now-lucid reaction. Jeff stumbled on the spot, reeling from the abrupt lack of dizzying color and movement.

"...Wow," he breathed, once the discombobulating sensation of sudden sobriety finished washing over him. His body made decisive contact with the mattress, making up its mind that it was simply not going to take this kind of treatment anymore. All the better.

Tony's eyes darted back and forth between Jeff and the still-open door, like a panicked rabbit. He kicked his legs together at the edge of the bed and mumbled something under his breath, visibly uncomfortable. "Don't reckon, should I go or-"

"Tony?" Said boy's head whipped back to face his friend with the force of a whip. Not so wise, he found, as now his neck was killing him. "You, ah. You wouldn't mind... doing that again, would you?" Jeff gave him a look that was almost teasing, almost nervous.

A strange sort of silence filled the room as Tony blinked slowly, once, twice. Then he threw back his (rather painful) head and laughed heartily, still flushed from head to toe.

"Go to bed, Jeff."

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SHIT THIS IS TERRIBLE WHY DID YOU READ THIS


End file.
